It gets worse

January 7, 2009
(I am laughing as I write this)

So far my poor roomie has managed to avoid her since she's been
back (I warned him!).
I should write a book about this but nobody would believe it. It's so
crazy that I can't even be mad, I have to laugh about it.
Yesterday I found dirty silverware in the drawer. My lemon pepper
has disappeared altogether. She slams the doors in the kitchen directly
below me all night long. My radio and or TV is always too loud. Got yelled
at because I didn't open her important mail AFTER she got back.
She says I killed the hedge and the orange tree because I cleaned out
dead stuff (???????????). She actually raised her voice at me in the back
yard about the damn tree. I just went back in the house.
Whenever I am within earshot, passing her, she complains about:
my roomie, her slow computer, city regulations, the parking situation,
her poor orange tree (which has about a billion oranges on it and is
unbelievably happy), the economy, the fact that I should be "grateful"
to have a place to live here...I’m watering too much...not watering
enough... The next minute she is praising all the work I did while she
was gone and she is so lucky to have me here. WTF??
One slice short of a sandwich, I think. She's not even supposed to
BE here...now she says she may be here until June. ACK!
Told her I should just leave. She says I have to give 30 days notice.
I told her I will let her know what I am going to do when I figure it out.
I am already talking to someone else about house sitting for them.

No more Starbucks goodies for YOU.....lol.

The Landlady from Hell

January 5, 2009

OMG the last two days have been unreal....
My landlady and The Slobbering Blob of Bulldog got home safe and
sound on Monday night. I went downstairs when I heard her and
gave her the Welcome Home song and dance. She was happy to be
back and things were good until the freakin dog decided I was
fascinating and started jumping up on me. Scratched my knee.
She had to drag him out of the room fighting every step of the way.
I guess she had drugged him up pretty good for the long flight and
it was starting to wear off.
Yesterday she was real happy with how the place looked. The dog
stayed as far away from me as possible. Weird.
She was mad at me for trimming dead stuff off the orange tree.
Seriously. She was also mad because I cleared out dead brush under
a hedge. But if that's the worst she can crabass about, I can deal
with it. She made me PROMISE not to trim any more dead stuff......
she insists it all will come back to life. As we walked back to the house,
I caught the dog with my extra shoes in his mouth running around.
I put them up out of reach....totally covered with slobber. Ick.
I had a friend who has access to day-old Starbucks goodies so I put
out some blueberry muffins, etc. She insisted she can't eat that sugary
stuff, all the while cramming muffin in her mouth. I got more stuff last
nite, including sandwiches, so she is thrilled that there is real food in
the house for her. Free.
Last nite she left a thank-you note for me. She admits she's neurotic...
lol... and says she's glad I'm here and kept all my promises to her.
It was a nice note.
This morning I went downstairs and the dog was snoring away in
his crate, which I have never seen him do before...he's usually loose
in the kitchen. It was a nice gesture on her part.
On the other hand, she turned the heat off and it was 55 in my room this morning.